Marriage, Bugs, and Cafés


So, I got married over the weekend.

It went well, and it served to really prove something that I’ve learned about myself and stress: that once something is in motion and beyond the point where you can directly change how it’s going, torturing yourself over it is not going to help. I stressed right the hell out over making sure all the paperwork was filed correctly, that the venue had everything put together right, that our guests’ dietary concerns were taken care of, that the celebrant had our additions to the vows noted and taken care of. Stressed out over the clothing shopping and making sure the playlist was right and that parking would be available.

By the day-of? Zero stress. I had several people come up to me and ask me how freaked out I was and I can honestly answer that I was feeling fine, because we had gotten over everything that I could have possibly fucked up and it seemed to be going smoothly, and short of stumbling over my vows while I read them off the sticky note in my pocket I could not possibly screw the ceremony or the reception up. If there was a problem it was no longer my direct fault and it was something I could immediately work to rectify as needed. Get the overwhelming stuff out of the way and sort the rest of it into steps that could be tackled one at a time and it tends to work out okay in the end.

I now somewhat understand why when I went to see The Martian for the first time with friends they all said “so this is like you: the movie” at a few key points, and it had nothing to do with any physical resemblance to Matt Damon.

This philosophy has seen me through multiple traumatic surgeries, a messed up last year of college, nasty breakups and now a wedding and I wish I had adopted it much earlier in my life.

The wedding itself was great. I will try to get some pictures up and running soon, once I get them back from our photographer. It was a very intimate event, eleven people in all, and the polar opposite of what we had originally planned for Hawaii quite some time back. It worked well, though, and a lot of the best stuff seemed to line up by accident. We lucked into the venue after looking at an earlier one, finding it was too big for such a small party and having the event coordinator there recommend it to us. Our celebrant was also a last minute recommendation after our initial contact at the department had to back out for the weekend and suggested a friend of his who had recently become officiated. In all honesty I don’t think we got a single thing we initially planned on but the stuff we ended up with kind of worked out perfectly together and made for a pleasant, relaxed time.

A longer, “real” honeymoon will have to come in the future with more of our mutual friends from the states, but as it stands I was able to get some of my oldest friends to attend from this side of the ocean and Alex was able to do the same with hers. It took place adjacent a beach with lovely weather all weekend, so the day after we got married we spent most of it lounging in the sun together, walking up and down the beachside road hitting all the cafes and eating a truly stupid amount of brunches over the long weekend. Some coffee that was so good that even I, mister 8 cups a day minimum, felt satisfied with 2 in the morning.

The best food-related thing for the event, however, was that we ended up just barely qualifying for some kind of special at the venue where we were given free seafood platters leading up to the meal. I had my first encounter with the thenus orientalis, AKA the slipper lobster, AKA the Moreton Bay bug. So prior to the hot plates and salads coming out we were given huge mounds of ice with bugs and tentacles strewn about them in black citrus sauce.

I guess it was kind of fitting that our reception meal started off like something out of At the Mountains of Madness crossed with The Call of Cthulhu and a few John Carpenter films.

Iä! Iä! Mawwiage fhtagn!


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